What Is The Proper Business Greeting?

Articles, Ask Dallas, Make Your Best Impression Blog   ·   March 24, 2010

Ok, so you are from the south and you have always thought hugging was the proper way to greet someone. While that can be true for someone, it is likely untrue for others. The truth is the in business the proper greeting is a handshake. While over time, as your relationship grows, the greeting may change one should never hug someone during an initial greeting. 

 Have you ever been on the giving or receiving side of a hug that made the situation very uncomfortable? Hugging is a very personal choice and varies from person to person. Our family background, culture and environment also play a major role in our acceptance or displeasure of a hug.

 In many cultures hugging and even kissing are quite appropriate. In the Parisian culture kisses are meant for close friends on both sides of the cheeks. In American culture, some parts of the country do initiate a quick hug which is much like the Parisian double cheek kiss. This of course this is reserved for someone that you know. One should not hug someone they do not know.

The proper protocol and etiquette when in business begins and ends with a handshake, a firm web to web connection with two to three pumps. Not all people like physical contact so this provides an appropriate way to reach out and connect without encroaching on their personal space and making them feel uncomfortable. A pat on the back may also be considered a little friendlier without breaking the business guidelines.

According to the Hugs for Health Foundation, proper hug etiquette consists of the following five tenets:

• Always respect another’s space
• Ask permission before hugging.
• A hug is a compassionate gesture; hug accordingly.
• A hug is a gentle embrace, not the Heimlich maneuver.
• Be “in” the hug; don’t simply go through the motion.

Situation: What if you are coming to the close of a meeting and preparing to leave when all of sudden, your former colleague reaches out to give you a quick hug. Well, that happened to me. Yes, someone that had worked with over the years, reached out to give me a hug. Afterward, I looked at my client and then gave him a hug. Then there were two additional colleagues with us that I did not know very well. I was trapped… what do I do? Do I offer a handshake and make them feel like I don’t want to hug them? Or, do I go ahead extend a hug so I didn’t risk hurting someone’s feelings. In a split section, I decided to go for the hug. I found myself very uncomfortable and immediately began to find a way to resolve that for future situations.

Solution: If you are in a situation where you know two people well and there are others in the party that you do not know well, you can begin the hello or goodbye process with those you do not know well first. By extending your hand for a proper handshake you have respected their presence and space. You can then turn to your friends and offer them a hug. This way, no one feels uncomfortable.

Situation: What if someone is reaching out to hug you and you do not know them well?

Solution: When someone is coming in for the hug, be proactive and initiate a handshake. Extend your hand towards them and look them in the eye. Make sure your feet are firmly anchored so they don’t shake your hand and pull you in for the hug. Body language is a strong communicator and these actions should help the non hugger avoid those unwanted embraces.

Etiquette is truly about how you make others feel. It is a way of being with others that provides a since of ease. Our goal is to create connection with people and build rapport. We need to be aware of our environment. As in any situation, it is always best to err on the side of a more conservative approach. The bottom line is be in tuned to your clients and respect their personal boundaries when it comes to hugs in the workplace.