Whose Dream Is It Anyway?

Make Your Best Impression Blog   ·   September 27, 2009

“To thine own self be true.” Shakespeare couldn’t have set it better. When we try to walk in the path of someone else it doesn’t quite feel real to us. The same goes for goals. If they aren’t yours, whose goals are they?

It is easy for someone to suggest a new tack on one of your goals and then you are suddenly following that path. After a while you won’t know whose goal this really is, yours or someone else’s. Others can offer suggestions for achieving your goals but be sure that the goal still remains uniquely yours.

1. Do you desire to complete this goal? This is an important question. Without motivation for success you won’t succeed. Sometimes what you perceive as laziness is a lack of motivation because the goal is in some way not really your idea in the first place.
2. Can you define the goal? If a goal comes from your desires, you can tell someone all about it. Whatever question they ask, you can answer them with enthusiasm because it is a goal that you want to accomplish. When the details are fuzzy, the goal might not be your idea.
3. Are you doing it for someone else? If you are learning to ice skate because your sister is in traction from a fall and can’t skate, that goal needs some thought. Maybe you wanted to skate but didn’t think about it until that happened to your sister. If you are just trying to keep your parents from lamenting over a lost shot at the Olympics, you won’t find any fulfillment or joy in taking up someone else’s torch. People do succeed at goals set for them by others but the feelings that come with goal achievement isn’t there and that’s what you want—your definition of success.
4. Are you focused? One day you are gung ho and the next week your commitment wanes. The goal seems to take a long time to complete. Before you let others jump to conclusions about your commitment, you take a look. Are you still committed to the goal?  Why is the focus gone? Your goal may have been to learn to ski for recreation, but somehow someone talked you into competing. The goal has taken on a new element that wasn’t intended.

It is not considered quitting when you drop a goal that you discover wasn’t yours in the first place. Own your goals but question whether you want to pursue others that might not really be for you. You may have different dreams and goals throughout your life- that is natural. Our interest will evolve and growth over time. Be true to yourself  and you will find your way.